Over the past several years it has become increasingly clear to me that the majority of fictional Christmas stories are metaphors for the absence of god and totalitarian oppression. When we teach our children about the "magic" of Christmas, we are, in fact, forcing oppressive control tactics upon them. The three most famous examples are Santa Claus, Frosty, and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Each of these myths are more reprehensible than the last. If you find it hard to believe, I understand. You've been manipulated as well. It's time to step back and look closely and what "they" want you to believe. Observe.
"Here Comes Santa Claus" by Samuel Beckett
Every year from Thanksgiving until Christmas morning children wait. They write lists; they sit on laps; they go to parades; and they sing songs about him. Here comes Santa Claus. Every day that passes is one day closer to his arrival. Then on Christmas Eve they jump in bed and cover up their head. Why do they cover their heads, you ask? So that they may be blinded from the terrifying truth. Their is no Santa Claus. He never comes. All of the children's waiting is in vain. One day you find out from a friend that the Super Nintendo you got last year was actually from your parents. At this point you can't help but feel like Vladimir and Estragon. You've spent months of your life waiting for someone who never arrives. So why do parents embrace this torture and subject their innocent children to it? Control. If you're good you get the Ninja Turtle blimp. If you're bad you get a stocking full of combustible fuel. Your parents have invented a fictional character that watches you from above, judging all of your actions, and at the end of the year you will either be rewarded or punished. Does this sound familiar? When I turn 30 are my parents going to sit me down and say, "Remember all that stuff about Catholicism we taught you? Well, we wanted you to do your homework." The most ridiculous line in "Here Comes Santa Claus" is as follows: "Let's give thanks to the Lord above that Santa Claus is coming tonight." We were taught to thank god for Santa. Oh boy. It gets worse...
"Frosty the Snowman" by Joseph McCarthy
Let's face it. Frosty was dangerous. No parent was comfortable with their child following his frozen ass all over town. This was written in 1950 and the belief in a radical hero that led children marching through the streets disobeying authority figures such as traffic cops was hard to stomach for those in power. Is it any coincidence that Frosty was leading the children with a broomstick in his hand? This was a witch hunt from the start. The lesson learned from this song is that new ideas seem fun at first, but there are harsh consequences. Frosty melted away due to the heat, much like the innocent women that burned at the stake in Salem, MA. Don't be fooled by the magic children. Stay the course, shy away from new ideas, and you'll certainly be spared an extremes in temperature related death. If you thought that was bad...
"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" by Friedrich Nietzsche
Rudolph was clearly physically flawed. This made him unappealing to both female and male reindeer. The reindeer charged with the responsibility of guiding Santa's sleigh had to be in top physical and mental condition. This team of team of eight reindeer could easily be considered the master race of reindeer. The female reindeer wanted nothing to do with Rudolph due to their avid belief in eugenics. The female reindeer's only goal was to produce the ubermensche (or in this case uberdeir). Their lack of faith in god led them to place emphasis on the physical world. Creating a more advanced new generation of reindeer was the only action that gave life meaning. So it is no surprise that once Rudolph's mutation proves to be advantageous, the reindeer profess that he will go down in history. Ever hear of the Third Reich? This was the fourth.
Still not convinced? Listen to the Chipmunks Christmas song.
No comments:
Post a Comment